Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Are we suffering???

Many of my relatives think that I am enjoying my life, with a working wife, living in America. But when I think about it I do not believe that way. Getting up early in the morning driving 80 miles up&down (2.5 hours spent in driving daily) dropping my wife at office picking her back, having breakfast in the running car, working 9-7 under pressure, making fast dinner and lunch for next day, awake until midnight, spending weekend planning for the next week ..and on and on.. Ooops I do not enjoy much or do I exaggerate my pain?

12 Comments:

Blogger Sarangan said...

Aiiiii.....

You explain the pain part alone. But this job ou have choosen in your choice,. You had an option of leaving this place and going back to India. Then you need not drive 80 miles per day or with this work pressure....

But you have chosen this. Because of the luxury, comfort, money, opportunities, exposure, freedom that this country is offering. So, you get all the above in the list. Thus the others say that you are enjoying.....

I do not think we are really suffering. A manager/programmer at offsore also travels 4 hours a day, works like a bull with a lot of tension and pressure. But they do not get the freedon, exposure, money and luxury as you. So, they are not enjoying.

Now, tell me who is sufering...

1:47 PM  
Blogger Baranidharan said...

Sai thats elaborate :-).

I agree that this is the choice I made and I don't regret or deny it. My point is about others telling me that I am a happy man because I live in America.

Being India you get a lot of luxury.

You dont need to drive your wife (who doesnt know driving) to office

You need not cook or do any household activities. (my wife is cooking anyway she is also working) you can get a maid.

You will always get a help from relatives, parents for emergency.

You get a chance to attend the family functions.

You need not plan weekend shopping.

You need not drive when you dont want to.

More than that there is a big lull when you live over here.

You cannot compare pressure at offshore with the onsite. In client site you will always feel it more.

This is the choice I made, agree. I just don't want others to make a judgement about my life because of the place I live or due to having a working wife.

Offline...

The point you made about manager / programmer... I don't think offshore IT people are paid less. They get the same money luxury exposure that you get here.. may be the traffic & pollution is different

6:16 PM  
Blogger senthil said...

Yes.

People in India mostly equate us to the Americans whom they see in TV. Driving a brand new car, watching babes in beach, enjoying latest gadgets et al. Inga vanthu paatha than vandavaalam theriyum. 600 sq. ft apartment, second hand sofa, second hand TV .. udaincha DVD player .. rathiriyaana inga husband than paathiram kaluvuvaan.
Actually I earn more but no time to enjoy it. As a bachelor, life is fun. As a family man, the support structure u get in India is missing. That takes out the fun from earning more money. But despite that, I stay here bcos I really need the money.

3:59 PM  
Blogger Arasan said...

"IT" sucks irrespective of onsite/offshore. We want everything to be best (at least fair and reasonable), salary, promotion, role, resp, credibility, visibility, identity, scalability, blah blah blah with less pressure :)- That’s an ideal situation which everyone will love to have, but reality is different.

Onsite or offshore has its own pros and cons, I am not going to elaborate here.

80 miles drive a day makes a lot of difference! That sucks, I tried this for 10 days when I was in Seattle and used to take emergency nap on the highway. Avoiding a long drive every day improves a lot in your day to day life.

Look out for possibility of relocation; it might be even worth for short span.

Are we living an extra ordinary life? (As per what people back at home thinks). The answer from me is No.

We can’t help it; the problem is with them, they can only visualize the best part of living abroad and not the day to day routine life or pitfalls. Nowadays, I just started ignoring what they think of us.

Are we suffering? Not really! Avoid your 80 miles drive a day, that’s makes lot of difference. (I don’t know what would be my case, it all depends on where my wife company is going to be??!!!)

I think key thing should be, that we should start living the current life rather than postponing it to future.

Let me do this after going to India,
Let me do this after getting a green card,
Let me do this after getting a better job,
Let me do this after...........????
Let me do this after...........????
Let me do this after...........????
Let me do this after...........????
Blah....Blah...Blah.....

Stop Suffering, Stop Worrying and Start living/loving your current state of life. Avoid or reduce those things which make you stressed out in your day to day life.

Naan Vala Vala nu pesuraen-nu ninaikiraen, what ever I have discussed is even applicable to me.

Take a break and go on for a vacation.

Arise, Awake, Achieve! And stop not until the ….!!!!???

11:59 AM  
Blogger Siva said...

There are couple of things. First is perspective mama. People who have never experienced the US life will find it hard to believe that there are some difficulties in US life. The point is whether you think that you are suffering. You may miss a maid servant but the rest of the things are surely in your control. As Arasan said you can ignore others and start living the way you want.

The next is probably what when people, here in an assignment and uncertain about when they will return, do. They try to save in everything. Then the suffering is self inflicted. It is not imposed. Like Senthil said. I mean how much does a tv and dvd player cost. But a lot of people try to save on that initially. I would assume that will change eventually when things stabilize or when people realize they can't go on like that forever.

3:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

@all yes it is time for change :-)

8:05 PM  
Blogger Hannibal said...

Nice post and much nicer comments :), is life in US painful, yes I agree to it, but should it stop you from being Happy, not so.
Does people in India think U are happy , they might even be thinking U are living like a king, do U have to convince them , not necessarily, unless U have the bandwidth to do so ;)
Yes I could feel Barani's point that there is not support structure in US ,but it will hurt U more when U expect support, if U decide U are going to learn how to handle things without support U will be happier
To be honest we Indians are earning better than the average americans, but we don'nt spend at all (including myself) , most of our spending might go in trip to India

5:08 PM  
Blogger Baranidharan said...

@Hannibal yes agree. The reason I see for not spending is uncertainty, in consultant job you keep moving around. But once settled down, I think Indians are spending. I have visited few friends houses who have settled here, I can tell you I see they spend a lot :-)

11:14 PM  
Blogger Seenivasan said...

I think you can ignore than try to educate people about the difficulties that you face. But you should let your parents clearly understand what kinda difficulties that you are facing. I did that to my parents only after my second trip to US. After that (only) they were able to empathize with me.

US teaches you to lead your life independently. With that 'support system' in India I have become so dependent. Now I am afraid to go to onsite just because that I am so used to this. Merits and demerits are there everywhere.

Life is not that easy. Whereever we are we should try to enjoy to the fullest rather than worrying about the demerits. my 2 cents. :)

2:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Add to this the emotional separation with the people back home which to me tops the list of all things discussed thus far .. Barani .. take my word .. You are not alone.

10:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

@seeni, true we need to ignore these people and keep going with our lives

11:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

@Balraj, it has been a long time since you went home, take a break man

11:24 AM  

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